New York Minute Movie Review

New York Minute could be summed up as: twin sister Shrek look-alikes Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen eventually bond during a day-long Red Bull commercial/Time Warner anti-piracy PSA. Truth is, though, for being shamelessly vain and plastic through and through, I ? NYM.

As evidenced by their home video back catalog, the Olsens flirt with one another and the camera better than they inhabit characters. So they couldn't have asked for a better support system in director Dennie Gordon and screenwriting trio Emily Fox, Adam Cooper and Bill Collage, who trot dependable eeew, my sister! I love you, sister! scenarios through a familiar course, determined to make NYM feel familiar (for devoted fans) and vaguely sexy (for male parents of devoted fans). And, since they're catering to prescribed tastes, the production values barely need to surpass those of The Adventures of Mary-Kate & Ashley saga.

Whizzing over the city en route to Long Island, we meet the Ryan sisters on the morning of an important day for them both. Hemmed-in overachiever Jane (Ashley) gets ready for the city by running through her day planner and organizing her scholarship committee presentation; after faxing in a fake absence slip, rebel Roxy (Mary-Kate) schemes a way to promote her rock group at a video shoot for the band Simple Plan. A tentative alliance finds them on the same commuter train, where Roxy's drumstick antics get both girls booted. On the platform moments later, "Asian Guy with Chip" slips something into Jane's purse, resulting in her being targeted by henchman Bennie Bang (Andy Richter) and lured into a subplot so slickly composed by the music industry that it deserves an Honorary Grammy.

Faster than you can say "stolen day planner," Jane's agenda has taken on dramatic proportions, and even Roxy has drummed up a predator: truancy officer Max Lomax (Eugene Levy, representative of the particular Olsen fan demographic who wear trench coats). Lomax has been on Roxy's trail for years, and today's the day he's plotted her capture.

To outwit their pursuers, the sisters realize they'll need to get over their issues if anything is to go their way. It's a clunky transition -- enlisting the services of hot boyz, quickly dispatching of their repressed emotions concerning their deceased mother -- but the funny thing is, it's here where NYM finds its shape. Too bad the script didn't call for an allegiance earlier on, as their tag-team action in later scenes such as "Kung Fu Andy Richter" and "Montage at the House of Bling" bring shame upon the movie's first hour.

But, the girls are growing up and they're ditching the brand name; Ashley's billed before Mary-Kate in the credits, and there's no Olsen Twin stamp to be found. Bob Saget shows up, but he looks bewildered and hurries away. For their next feature, the girls don't have to think or act too hard, but they might allow their supporting cast to go off-script, as Richter, Levy and Andrea Martin are all as controlled as entries in a day planner.

Still, and part of me can't believe I'm documenting this as my opinion, their (ch)impish nature makes for a tolerable romantic comedy than others starring actresses more than twice their age.