| New
York Minute Movie Review
New York Minute could be summed
up as: twin sister Shrek look-alikes Ashley and Mary-Kate
Olsen eventually bond during a day-long Red Bull commercial/Time
Warner anti-piracy PSA. Truth is, though, for being
shamelessly vain and plastic through and through, I
? NYM.
As evidenced by their
home video back catalog, the Olsens flirt with one another
and the camera better than they inhabit characters.
So they couldn't have asked for a better support system
in director Dennie Gordon and screenwriting trio Emily
Fox, Adam Cooper and Bill Collage, who trot dependable
eeew, my sister! I love you, sister! scenarios through
a familiar course, determined to make NYM feel familiar
(for devoted fans) and vaguely sexy (for male parents
of devoted fans). And, since they're catering to prescribed
tastes, the production values barely need to surpass
those of The Adventures of Mary-Kate & Ashley saga.
Whizzing over the city
en route to Long Island, we meet the Ryan sisters on
the morning of an important day for them both. Hemmed-in
overachiever Jane (Ashley) gets ready for the city by
running through her day planner and organizing her scholarship
committee presentation; after faxing in a fake absence
slip, rebel Roxy (Mary-Kate) schemes a way to promote
her rock group at a video shoot for the band Simple
Plan. A tentative alliance finds them on the same commuter
train, where Roxy's drumstick antics get both girls
booted. On the platform moments later, "Asian Guy
with Chip" slips something into Jane's purse, resulting
in her being targeted by henchman Bennie Bang (Andy
Richter) and lured into a subplot so slickly composed
by the music industry that it deserves an Honorary Grammy.
Faster than you can
say "stolen day planner," Jane's agenda has
taken on dramatic proportions, and even Roxy has drummed
up a predator: truancy officer Max Lomax (Eugene Levy,
representative of the particular Olsen fan demographic
who wear trench coats). Lomax has been on Roxy's trail
for years, and today's the day he's plotted her capture.
To outwit their pursuers,
the sisters realize they'll need to get over their issues
if anything is to go their way. It's a clunky transition
-- enlisting the services of hot boyz, quickly dispatching
of their repressed emotions concerning their deceased
mother -- but the funny thing is, it's here where NYM
finds its shape. Too bad the script didn't call for
an allegiance earlier on, as their tag-team action in
later scenes such as "Kung Fu Andy Richter"
and "Montage at the House of Bling" bring
shame upon the movie's first hour.
But, the girls are growing
up and they're ditching the brand name; Ashley's billed
before Mary-Kate in the credits, and there's no Olsen
Twin stamp to be found. Bob Saget shows up, but he looks
bewildered and hurries away. For their next feature,
the girls don't have to think or act too hard, but they
might allow their supporting cast to go off-script,
as Richter, Levy and Andrea Martin are all as controlled
as entries in a day planner.
Still, and part of me
can't believe I'm documenting this as my opinion, their
(ch)impish nature makes for a tolerable romantic comedy
than others starring actresses more than twice their
age.
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