Madea's Family Reunion Review

Tyler Perry must be stopped. The multitasking director/writer/performer ranks up there as the most hypocritical, least aesthetic filmmaker in America today. He’s a man who has no compunction about leering at half-clad women then lecturing that they shouldn’t dress that way, or damning the practice of spousal abuse while extolling the virtues of child abuse.But that’s the way of Madea’s Family Reunion, in which Perry’s titular drag creation offers dubious advice, while a pair of sisters are torn apart by their greedy mother and her desire to push one into marriage with an abusive investment banker. Oh, and there’s a romance between a sister and a hunky Christian bus driver that culminates in a song called “The Courage to be Loved.”The film is fascinated by the very things it tries to decry; Madea is countered by her husband Joe (Perry again), who says all of the grotesquely misogynist things so as to balance the pseudo-feminist caterwauling of Madea. And the film never recovers from the uncertainty clouding what the hell it’s trying to say..More...

Date Movie Review

Date Movie plays as if the worst two of the six writers of Scary Movie scribbled it down on the back of a cocktail napkin while on the way from their hotel to the set. It sets out to apply Scary Movie's horror parody formula to rom-coms, and in doing so comes up with something, believe it or not, worse.It's worse because while Scary Movie took serious films and tried to make them funny, Date Movie takes already funny movies and makes them completely unfunny. I'm sure that's not what they were going for; the idea is of course to make them even funnier..More...

Eight Below Review

The family adventure "Eight Below" is an easy watch, thanks to the splendors of frosty scenery and furry canines. Pic, which follows eight sled dogs trapped in Antarctica and the humans who try to rescue them, is an entertaining story (but less so when bipeds are taking up valuable four-legged screentime). The Disney offering should do reasonable winter bizbiz, with better to come as a home-format item.Pic is "suggested" by the 1983 Nippon feature "Nankyoku Monogatari" (Antarctica), which was in turn inspired by real-life events. The Japanese version was set in 1958, with two human protags..More...

Final Destination 3 Review

As yet another gaggle of clueless teens runs around trying to postpone their appointments with Death, the question inevitably arises: Will there ever be a final "Final Destination""Final Destination"? Not as long as this durably gimmicky series, admittedly one of the wittier horror franchises in recent years, continues to dispense sadistic Rube Goldberg death traps with all the dramatic import of a kid frying ants under a magnifying glass. First two installments grossed more than $50 million and $40 million, respectively, and New Line should anticipate marginally lower returns from this slapdash sequel before it reaches a more lucrative destination on homevideo. In the original "Final Destination" (whose director, James WongJames Wong, is back for this third round), a group of high schoolers narrowly avoided a fatal plane crash, only to find that Death doesn't stay cheated for long. Here, the pre-empted tragedy is a freak roller-coaster accident, which Wendy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) somehow foresees and manages to escape..More...

The Pink Panther Review

Finally unleashed after multiple delays, "The Pink Panther" is neither the disaster one might have suspected nor a fully realized madcap farce; rather, Steve MartinSteve Martin's foray as Inspector Clouseau exhibits bursts of wild-and-craziness, but hardly enough to sustain even its relatively brief running time. The result is a feature-length "Saturday Night Live" sketch, with arid stretches interrupted by moments of irresistible silliness. The real question is whom this juvenile revival will attract, given that the franchise would seem to possess little resonance among modern youths -- its most likely audience -- beyond Henry Mancini's marvelously playful original score.Using the title of the 1964 original but little else, Martin (who shares script credit) starts out as Officer Clouseau, whose ineptitude catches the eye of Chief Inspector Dreyfus (Kevin KlineKevin Kline, recycling his "French Kiss" accent). With France's soccer coach murdered and his famous Pink Panther diamond stolen..More...

Curious George Review

The challenge of bringing Curious George to the screen has defied the best writers in the industry. It has taken 14 years and God knows how many concept changes to arrive at the final product, and the crass marketing campaign surrounding it suggests that the beloved monkey of the title has been co-opted as a corporate shill. What a surprise, then, that the movie turns out to be a modest delight. Not only does it understand what makes the books such classics, but it successfully reinterprets them for the big screen without losing the soul of its source material.Nowhere is this more evident than in the monkey himself -- a child-like being of warmth and happiness whose namesake trait celebrates both the joys of discovery and the mayhem to which it can lead. The books (by H.R. Rey and his wife Margret) followed George as he accompanied the Man in the Yellow Hat from the jungle to the big city, where all sorts of rollicking misadventures awaited. Rey's illustrations perfectly captured the character's innocence and charm, but in the wrong hands..More...

Firewall Review

At its core a high-tech, wi-fi version of "The Desperate Hours," "Firewall" begins slowly, exhibits hints of promise in the middle and then descends into silliness. Harrison FordHarrison Ford has the whole "Not with my family, you don't" Everyman routine down to a science, but the improbable twists begin piling up before the star finally goes commando. Beyond Paul BettanyPaul Bettany's suave villain, there's not much to distinguish what amounts to an old-fashioned "B" picture, except perhaps its unusually overwrought score. Box office prospects look so-so on a pic that has "rental" written all over it.Ford has aged gracefully into roles where he's the caring dad, CIA analyst or president who has to save his family, country or plane. Still, this is clearly on the lighter end of that spectrum, both in terms of stakes and believability factor.As Jack Stanfield, Ford has an idyllic life, with a pretty, accomplished wife (Virginia Madsen) and two squabbling kids (Carly Schroeder, Jimmy Bennett)..More...

When a Stranger Calls Review

Jill Johnson (Camilla Belle) is a teenager looking for a little extra money through babysitting to pay her extravagant cell phone bills. Taking a job for a rich couple in their luxurious, isolated home, Jill settles in for an easy evening in a cavernous location. Trouble arrives with a seemingly prank phone call that urges Jill "to check the children." What starts as harmless fun soon erupts into violence, with Jill fighting for her life against a mysterious killer in unfamiliar surroundings.Not surprisingly, "When a Stranger Calls" is a remake, this time of a 1979 chiller that starred Carol Kane. The story is a simple exercise in suspense filmmaking, and the producers have updated the script to include more modern touches, since the world of telephones hasn't been all that frightening since Bush Sr. was in office. One might even suggest that this idea has been rendered obsolete in an era of caller ID and "star 69..More...

Nanny McPhee Review

There's no spoon of sugar given by this nanny, but like Mary Poppins, Nanny McPhee knows how to sort out needy children as well as their needy father. And while she may be an unlikely heroine with a bulbous nose, facial moles and wildly protruding tooth, her methods are beyond reproach.A dancing donkey wearing a purple hat, pastel-dipped baby lambs, worm sandwiches, toads in teapots and hairy tarantulas creeping into bouffant hairdos are some of the delights of this very sweet film, which is filled with mischief and fantasy. It's colourful, bright and funny, with splendid production design, and apart from the central characters, everyone is a larger-than-life caricature..More...

Big Momma's House 2 Review

More than five years after "Big Momma's House""Big Momma's House" -- which was basically "Kindergarten Cop" in drag -- Martin LawrenceMartin Lawrence goes the Uncle Miltie route again in this wholly uninspired sequel, which plays more like "Mrs. Doubtfire 2." Donning the fat suit and wig, Lawrence's FBI agent becomes the nanny to a trio of kids, while engaging in the most rudimentary of revenge plots. Probably review-proof for openers, pic is so episodic and flat it should be a letdown even to those amused by the original.Consider it a trivia footnote that the first "House" party featured Terrence Howard as the bad guy and Paul GiamattiPaul Giamatti as Lawrence's partner. Yet if that stakeout caper actually had some semblance of a dramatic foundation, the setup here is ludicrous from the get-go..More...

Underworld Evolution Review

Perhaps the genre of joyously absurd action films isn’t dead quite yet. Underworld: Evolution borders on taking itself too seriously from a narrative standpoint, but the marriage of a complete disregard for science as we know it and kooky overacting by Bill Nighy saves the film from a grisly F-grade demise. Whether or not the film’s action scenes intend to elicit laughter I cannot positively say, but they do, and it’s actually refreshing.The story, which couldn’t be more inconsequential if it tried, goes something like this: The war between the Death Dealers (vampires) and the Lycans (werewolves), established in 2003’s Underworld, is still going strong. Selene (Beckinsale) and Michael Corvin (Speedman), a human-Lycan hybrid, are working together to trace their ancestry. The job is not easy as they face various foes, namely Viktor (Nighy), the father of modern vampires, and Marcus (Curran) and William (Brian Steele), two brothers whose father, Alexander Corvinus (Derek Jacobi), started the war 800 years ago. Splatter gore and completely implausible action ensues..More...

Hoodwinked Review

Little Red Riding Hood gets a cheeky CGI makeover in "Hoodwinked!," a fast-paced, fitfully clever 3-D-animated feature that will entertain tykes but provide scant novelty for auds who've had their fill of revisionist fairy tale gags and postmodern 'tude from the "Shrek" franchise. The Weinstein Co.'s first toon acquisition, which opens today in Los Angeles for a one-week Oscar-qualifying run, is a pint-sized production that could rack up modest family biz when it goes wide Jan. 13, though investors probably won't be marveling, "My, what big box office you've got."Purporting to tell the "real story" behind the classic children's tale, pic opens by revisiting the climactic confrontation between Little Red Riding Hood (voiced by Anne Hathaway) and the not-so-well-disguised Wolf (Patrick Warburton) at Granny's house..More...

Glory Road Review

When Don Haskins (Josh Lucas) took over as head basketball coach at El Paso's Texas Western University in 1965, the sport was still mainly a white affair. Most teams only had a few black players at most, and many of those athletes were simply tokens who rode the bench all season. But Haskins was a coach hungry to win and he could not care less about skin color. His actions as he took the reins of the Texas Western program were simple and direct and they helped usher in a new era of integration in basketball. That achievement is what Glory Road celebrates in this well-meaning, stylish, inspirational sports drama. Haskins is coaching high school ball when he gets the call to take over the Texas Western Miners. This is the chance he has been waiting for..More...

Last Holiday Review

Paramount may be selling slapstick and impudent sass in trailers and TV spots, but "Last Holiday""Last Holiday" is most successful when it is engaging, not uproarious. Glossy amusement is an updated remake of a well-regarded 1950 Brit comedy-drama starring Alec Guinness, improbably retrofitted as a star vehicle for Queen Latifah. Lead's appealing performance and overall feel-good vibe could attract diverse demographics and generate strong word of mouth during a potentially leggy theatrical run Original pic (scripted by J.B. Priestley) cast Guinness as George Bird, a mousy salesman who doesn't begin to enjoy life until he's told he has just a few weeks to live. Diagnosed with a fatal illness, he impulsively opts to spend his life's savings on a "last holiday" at an expensive resort where he's mistaken for a wealthy wheeler-dealer...More...

Hostel Review

With a style as high as its body count -- plus the imprimatur of gore connoisseur and presenting entity Quentin TarantinoQuentin Tarantino -- "Hostel" may become something of a classic among Fangoria magazine's readership, acolytes of George Romero and audiences who thought "Saw II" was for babies. Translation to the small screen will be all but impossible given the rain of corpuscles, but theatrical and DVD should spur a moderate downpour. And the aptly termed "director's cut" is all but inevitable.One of the better looking horror films of recent vintage, "Hostel," which showed as a work in progress as a midnighter at the Toronto Film Festival, begins as a dream and turns into a nightmare. Two college pals -- Josh (Derek Richardson) and Paxton (Jay HernandezJay Hernandez) -- are backpacking across Europe with an Icelander..More...