|  Plan
Movie Review
When we called the theater to advance book tickets for
this film, the guy at the counter told us not to bother.
"Mil jaayega saab, bekaar picture hai". That's
about all you need to know about Plan, but we do have
another 450 words to go, so here are all the gory details.
Four vacuous small-town guys come to
Mumbai in search of the big city lights and all that
it brings with it - stacks of money, nymphs falling
out of their dresses and fame. Dino Morea plays a wannabe
actor, and gets by on the sole charm of his dimpled
grin. Sadly, this charm wears out after the first five
minutes.
Sanjay Suri is a compulsive gambler,
who optimistically calls himself Lucky. He looks good
in his new goatee, but he's not allowed to do much else
in the film. Rohit Roy is the hatcher of plans, who
comes to the city to get rich. All his ideas are colossally
stupid, but his friends love him anyway, and this encourages
him to surpass himself every time.
Bikram Saluja comes to the town looking
for the one true love of his life, Riya Sen, who makes
an appearance for exactly 20 seconds. She wants to have
nothing to do with him, for no reason apart from the
fact that she's "changed" - from transparent
salwar kameezes to transparent tank tops.
So this sad lot goes around the big
city and finds out that they're not exactly going to
be showered with money and molls for showing up. They
also manage to spend all the money they have on living
it up, which apparently consists of going to a theme
park, picking up girls in a pub and getting haircuts.
When they're at the end of their tether
and neck-deep in a gambling debt, they decide on a solution
to end all their problems in one fell swoop. Why not
kidnap a rich man who's unknown but sufficiently loved
for his family to cough up the ransom? Good plan, no?
Only they choose Musa bhai, Mumbai's biggest don played
by an utterly bored-looking Sanjay Dutt.
The hostage, it turns out, doesn't mind
being captured because all his bodyguards have turned
traitors. So he hangs out with the four chokras, and
teaches them to handle a gun, dance badly, and shower
currency notes on most every woman they meet.
After many shootouts and random fights
with Musa's arch nemesis, and vanquishing all the evil
fiends (except for the sadist who wrote the script),
the four decide a big city life is not for them, it
requires too much by way of talent and competence.
One of the only reasons the cinema hall
was even as populated as it was, was that people were
expecting a Munnabhai MBBS Part 2. But Sanjay Dutt doesn't
even bother in this one; his attitude is one that says
- let's get this over with and pretend it never happened.
The women in this movie, Sameera Reddy
and Priyanka Chopra, have no roles to speak of, thankfully
for them. In fact this movie won't have an adverse effect
of any of its actors' careers, because Plan doesn't
even register as a movie. It's just something to do
when you're feeling bored and masochistic. |
